Saturday, August 9, 2008.

Am i wrong for giving up? I have been thinking these few days. Is it wrong for me to be so heartless? I wondered. But if i would choose not to give up, I would never be able to forgive myself for letting my mum got hurt because of me. These few days i have been enjoying the freedom that I long yearn for. I finally get to go out with my frens, slack with them and do anything without any permission needed. I went swimming, towning, shopping, drinking and slacking. Everything seems so fine now. But why do i still feel so stress. Being so stressed up that my headache doesn't seems to go off. I don't understand but I'll try to put everything behind my mind and enjoy my life. I'll change to better after this lesson. A lesson that not everyone can witness or go through, a lesson that shows you how brave and courageous every mum can be just to protect her children from any harm. I'm glad that I have such a mum. Mum, thanks a lot and I really do love you =)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008.

I'm sorry mum, sorry to put you through these shit because of your useless son couldn't protect you well. I'm so sorry.

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Why must you do all these things? Why must you hurt my mum when shes innocent and when shes trying to protect me from you. Why did you turn into a devil that harms me and my mum when you are my longest relationship. Why must you change my love for you into fear and hatred because you harm my family. To me, my mum and brother is the most important people to me and yet you hurt my mum. You used to be one of them too. Maybe we shouldn't start this relationship or perhaps maybe we shouldn't even meet. Not that i regret now, i had never regret but perhaps things maybe better for us without knowing each other. I'm so scare of you right now. You are not the one I had known. You changed into someone so scary, vicious and someone that I don't even know. What made this happened? Guess its just that our character doesn't suit each other at all, both so stubborn and always using the wrong words across each other. Maybe we should let go of each other earlier so that this won't happen but times again we don't bear to. This is definitely the end of our relationship and i really hope you can be kind enough to let me and my family off. I wish you can find someone better like your ex and I really wish you all the best. Please don't brood over this matter anymore. We can still be friends and life has to go on. I wish you good luck.